If Heels Could Talk: 4 Decades, 4 Cities, 4 Continents & One Celebration

If my heels could talk, they’d tell the story of a woman who decided to celebrate herself and her journey. And do so fully, joyfully, and intentionally. My heels would tell you about how it felt to walk into 40 surrounded by love and also grounded. 

Now, I have always loved my birthday, but not in the way that people are accustomed to (nothing wrong with it, that just isn’t me). Some of my friends would tell you that I don’t like birthdays. Not true. I’m not one to think that a birthday is just another day. Far from it, I just can get a bit overwhelmed from a lot of attention all at once and while I love attending big birthday parties, I often don’t want one for myself, but I ALWAYS celebrate my birthday. 

I celebrated my 30th with a girls trip to NYC. Since then, I have celebrated my birthday with a solo trip for the past nine years. Before I moved to Tokyo, I’d often have a low-key celebration with friends who insist, and I always spend time with myself to not only reflect but to also look ahead. Solo time is sacred and is a practice I hope to continue. 

However, as my 40th birthday approached, I knew that I wanted things to be a little different this time around. I wanted to celebrate solo, and I also wanted to celebrate with my loved ones. 

And so, my 40th birthday celebrations were a global love letter to myself, and to my loved ones across 4 cities and 4 continents. 

Fun fact: in 4 decades, I lived (long term) in these 4 countries on 4 continents (Nigeria, USA, Scotland, and Japan). Each chapter of my life so far has left its marks, scars, victories, and lessons.

The Celebrations

Each of the four locations marked a different facet of turning 40. From Minneapolis to Tokyo, Marrakech to Paris, my heels carried me through a month of memories that felt like a soft landing, an answered prayer, a warm embrace, and a grand beginning all at once. 

1. Minneapolis, USA – The Prelude (North America)

The Vibe: Intimate, timeless, full of gratitude. 25 guests. Simple, classy dinner party in a private room at a great restaurant.

Fun Facts

• I found a dress the day before the dinner
• The cake reflected the places I have called home and also reflected my love for stilettos
• The food was great and there was plenty to eat and drink and a little live music because your girl loves to dance
• I don’t enjoy party planning so I chose what worked for me, required minimal effort but maximum ROI (private room at a restaurant, great menu, great interior, little need for decor)

The celebration in Minneapolis was one with my chosen family, in the city I have come to call my home in the USA. Friends from university, from work, from other friends, and just from living in the area. My sister, brother, and niece also flew in and it was wonderful to have people who have known me from every chapter (decade) of my life in the room, a few meeting for the first time. 

Favourite Part Of The Night

My friend, Seun did such a wonderful job as MC, she even weaved snippets from my podcast into her script.

My favorite part was unexpected. Seun had the room go around to share how we met. I expected light convo, but ya’ll my people turned around and poured into me and I was a tearful wreck! They also reminded me of encounters that were impactful to them that I didn’t think much of. I was a beautiful tearful wreck in a shiny silver dress and red lipstick haha! It is a night I’ll hold close forever! If it was the only celebration I had, I would have been more than happy. But, it was only the beginning.

Minneapolis was the perfect kick off to #40DeeGrees as we celebrated the end of the first 4 chapters (decades) of my life!

2. Tokyo, Japan – The Almost Quiet Middle (Asia)

Vibe: Reflective, personal, grounded. A pleasant surprise! Dinner and a night out with a new friend.

My 40th birthday fell on a Saturday, how perfect! I was finally feeling better after a rough flu bout. I woke up to lots of messages, I went to the mirror, took a look at myself and wished myself a happy birthday. I thanked my body for carrying me physically and thanked God for carrying me in all ways by His grace & mercy. I had a specific worship song on replayyy! I also made it to my workout class!

Favourite Part of the Night

My favourite part of the night was all of it. While I began planning my birthday celebrations, a little voice in my head reminded me that it would be nice to have a bae/partner take care of things for once and to be honest, I was sad about it for a bit. I acknowledged it, I didn’t cover it up with fake positivity, and then I moved forward with making my plans anyway.

The Lesson I Didn’t Know I Needed To Learn

Tokyo was the celebration I didn’t want but NEEDED. A new friend insisted on celebrating with me and I resisted as I felt we weren’t THAT close (it is a budding friendship) and I thought I had enough celebrations. 

After 3 months of resisting, I finally gave in a week before my birthday. All I had to do was show up. I finally agreed to it to honour something I’ve been noodling on quite a bit this year, especially as someone that does a lot on her own. 

I was so touched by the gesture. It was a dinner and evening out for both of us on my actual birthday and it was a lovely evening. After dinner, we went out to a lounge where they even brought out signs with sparklers and my name and we danced the night away.

The lesson for me is that friendship is about allowing people the honour and pleasure of showing up for us. Sometimes it is allowing them to ‘inconvenience’ themselves a bit. In my opinion, sometimes ‘inconvenience’ is the price/cost of friendship. So I stopped resisting and said yes. I’m glad I did.

If people want to show up for you, open up, and let them. (ps. Don’t take this statement alone out of context) It goes both ways, it’s also worth considering, when is the last time I’ve gone out of my way for a friend? If you have a track record of NOT doing so, and of always putting yourself first then in my opinion, you have no business expecting people to show up for you.

If heels could talk that evening, they’d whisper gratitude in Yoruba, Japanese and English. Gratitude for my journey, for the life I’ve been blessed with, for good health, for peace in solitude, for unspoken yet answered prayers as winks from above, and for the gift of friendship even in unexpected places.

3. Marrakech – The Grand Celebration

Ahh Marrakech!!!! 10 women, 4 days, and memories for a lifetime!

Vibe: 

The vibe in Marrakech was pure sisterhood, joy, and soul-deep pouring. This trip embodied abundance and community  – heart-centered luxury at its best. I think the kids would say the vibes were immaculate!

The birthday trip with my girls. Also, a dream turned into reality from my first visit to Marrakech in 2016! 10 women, from 4 continents, and 7 cities came together to just have a good time and celebrate with me. To say we had an amazing time is an understatement! 

I know how I wanted this trip to feel like, I wanted my friends to feel seen and taken care of. These women not only poured into me but they poured into and supported each other selflessly over and over again.

We left feeling lighter, inspired, and taken care of. New bonds were formed and old ones strengthened. It brought me great joy to see my ladies put aside the titles (mummy, daughter, wife, CEO, director, Entrepreneur, Manager, Partner, etc), responsibilities (and endless to-do lists), and just have a good time as themselves! We NEED more of this. 

This was the gift I wanted to give to my friends and to myself and it was mission accomplished. 

PS: I didn’t do it all myself. I engaged and got some help from the lovely team at Naija Nomads. The planning was done ahead of time so I could be in the moment. Then during the trip itself, I had some of my friends help with one or two things at different times. That way, no single person had the (Martha) responsibility of running the whole thing, and we could all be in the moment. 

Favourite Parts Of The Trip

Too many to name to be honest. It was in the small moments and in the big ones. On the second night, my friend Korma MC’d a dinner and in addition to a very difficult quiz (haha), she also had people share what they love about me. Someone was cutting up onions there.

On the final night, my friend Kemi MC’d the birthday finale dinner (where everyone looked amazing by the way). She had everyone share: 

• What every women learned/appreciated about the woman sitting next to her in the time spent together so far and 
• Their prayers and wishes for me in this next chapter 

You can guess, there were lots of tears again and again. I also gave a speech to my ladies from my heart but I’ll save that one for those that were there. 

After that final dinner at La Trattoria, we went out to Buddha Bar and had the time of our lives dancing and singing like no one was watching. At some point, my friend Korma led a dance and the band leader thanked her at the end of the set! That’s how we roll! 

6 out of the 10 of us are moms, here’s what Kachi shared from the moms in the group

Here’s what Kemi shared in her newsletter about the trip:

If my heels could talk in Marrakech, they’d laugh out loud echoing against tiled courtyards, dusty souks, and candlelit dinners. They’d tell you that a million photos were taken :). They’d celebrate women who pour into each other from a place of abundance and not scarcity. They’d marvel at the magic of feeling deeply seen.  And they’d remind you that friendships too, are one of the greatest love stories we are meant to experience in this lifetime.

4. Paris – The Solo Chapter

Vibe: Soft, introspective, self-celebration.

Your girl loves to take advantage of a layover! Since I had a stop in Paris, I chose to spend two nights and one day in the city of lights. Just to spend a day relaxing (no itinerary really other than to buy a pair of shoes haha). 

My friends S and O were there for a couple of hours so we explored together. However, after they left, I walked by the Seine, and then went to buy myself something special, something I had put off for a decade, ha! 

If my heels could talk in Paris, they’d walk slowly, not to arrive anywhere, but to savor the view. They’d speak of a woman who loves her own company and knows that wholeness is the ultimate luxury.

40 Where? 40 Right Here!!! 

In four decades, I’ve lived (long term) in 4 countries on 4 continents (Nigeria, USA, Scotland, and Japan). Each chapter of my life so far has left its marks, scars, victories, and lessons. Now looking back on it, the celebrations make perfect sense!

40 didn’t need to be one night. It became a series of moments with each city holding a mirror to a different part of me and setting the prelude to my best chapter yet.

My heels would whisper stories of joy, reflection, intentional celebration, community, sisterhood, overwhelming grace, pleasant surprises and deep gratitude. 

They’d say she finally learned to rest, to receive, and to walk confidently into her next decade. Taking one joyful, well-worn step at a time. 

Joyfully 40, 

Dee (Ms. Heels)