If Heels Could Talk: The $400 Apple

No, not an iPad or iPhone or any Apple products in that sense. I’m talking about a regular apple, the ones you bite into. I know it makes no sense, so let me explain. Remember that trip of a lifetime from 2018?  The one where I went from New Zealand to Vanuatu, to Rwanda to Kenya! Solo, all long-time dream destinations for me.

May 5^th 2018:

One fine afternoon, I found myself outside a gas/fuel station waiting for a bus to take me to a boat stop about an hour away. I was on my way to spend the night on a small island off the island of Efate in Vanuatu. I was following directions I found on an old blog post, waiting for a bus that wasn’t on any schedule.

 I was in the most beautifully remote country I’ve ever visited, and on the recommendation of an English couple I’d met only three days prior, I decided to visit Pelee Island, spending the night in a village. Did someone say yolo? That whole bit is a story for another day.

Back to the gas station. I decided to pop in and buy some snacks. I bought one apple and a few other things. Interestingly, as I picked up the apple, I realized it was imported from New Zealand (as many things are in Vanuatu). I checked out, put it in my bag and went back to wait for the bus. That’s the last time I thought about the darn apple.

May 9^th 2018:

I flew back to New Zealand to begin my journey to Rwanda. In New Zealand, I had to get through customs. Walking through, there were so many biosecurity announcements. Truth be told, I’ve never been at an airport with this many signs/announcements on the topic. But, I wasn’t bothered, I declared all my food: jam, sweet potato chips and cookies. I turned in the form and proceeded to place my bags through the scanner.

Let’s just say I was not unbothered for much longer. My ‘apple’ popped up in the scans and I was pulled aside. A lady assigned to me walked over and asked why I had food despite all the announcements. She was wearing a uniform and had on really thick glasses. She didn’t smile, she wasn’t messing around.

Me – distraught:  “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry that was from days ago I forgot about it.”

NZ Customs Lady: Step aside, wait over there (with the most serious look on her face)

I sit in a chair near a small kiosk/office wondering how in the hell I got myself in this position.

Me:  “Look at my form I filled out everything else I wasn’t trying to hide”

NZ Customs Lady: “Please hand over your passport” – she starts writing something up.

The Fine:‘The fine is $400 (NZD), how would you like to pay”

Me: blank stare but the alarm bells that rang in my head were deafening! Whaaaattttttttt????

NZ Customs Lady: We have strict biosecurity rules here and we hold people accountable, begging won’t change anything

I begged and begged, she gave me a resting IDGAF face, and my pleas all fell on deaf ears. I calculated the amount in three different currencies in my head: USD, GBP, and Naira! Anyway I sliced it, those alarm bells went off! I had an instant headache.

How?  Over ONE friggin’ Apple? I finally gave up and gave her my credit card but my toughness was wearing off and one tear rolled down my right cheek.

$400 NZD because of one apple that’s from YOUR country anyway? How is that fair?

As she took my passport and wrote my information down, I noticed a hint of a smile on the edge of her previously pursed lips. I was shocked she could smile. But her next words had me ready to unleash the sharp tongue I possess when provoked.

NZ Customs Lady: “Oh, your names are so long”

I bit my tongue so hard because NOTHING I wanted to say was nice or kind or anything positive. I wanted to yank my passport out of her hand, and walk out. Like.. was this an attempt at small talk? Are we now suddenly cool?

I stood there and said nothing, I took my passport and $400 fine receipt and left. Mad AS HELLL. At myself for making such a STUPPIIIDDDD mistake, and wondering how I was going to get past this one. How many days of eating Ramen were ahead of me. We don’t waste money in the family, this was WAAAASSTEEE!

I was wondering how this would not leave a bitter taste in my mouth from an otherwise wonderful time in New Zealand and Vanuatu. Bitterly upset, I pushed my bags through the airport. I cancelled plans to go into the city over my 9-hour layover (not spending a cent/kobo/penny).

After a few hours of moping, (and calculating the loss), I decided it was in my own best interest to just block the incident and focus on the great times I had.

Before this post, only 3 people knew about this and one’s practically a stranger. Almost one year later, I can’t say it didn’t hurt for a bit again when I wrote this down. Maybe sharing this is the final healing for me.

Lesson Learnt

I’m okay, I paid it off, and I learned an EXPENSIVE lesson. No food in NZ, I repeat for my Nigerian friends and family -NO FOOD IN NZ! The strict biosecurity rules are to prevent the introduction of unwanted pests and diseases.

My travel life is not perfect, neither is the rest of my life but I’m still here and I live to explore the world another day.

P.S. You know the icing on the cake? I did not get to eat the Apple. After paying the fine, as a sharp Nigerian woman, with tears rolling down one cheek (I can only think the other eye was being rebellious), I asked for my apple. I wanted to sit there in customs and eat the expensive apple. Alas, they’d thrown it away!

I’m just proud of myself for not going Apes*t at the airport! I swear, it wasn’t me, it was God, plus a book I was reading at the time I think. I was able to block the event long enough to have fun in Rwanda and Kenya. Seeing the credit card bill at the end of the trip thought, not so fun!

What would you have done? Have you ever learned an expensive lesson?

PPS. “If heels could talk, Stories from the Road’ is a series where I share stories my shoes would tell from my travels. I share a story every other month. I’ve shared about leaving a friend at an airport in Peru, traveling to Bolivia without a visa, meeting hostage negotiators, making a rookie mistake, and seeing the northern lights. If you’ve enjoyed reading, please share and click here to subscribe to be notified of weekly posts and to receive my monthly newsletters.

Till Next Month,

Ms. Heels!