What To Expect When You Move Abroad

Last month, I wrote about how to support a friend moving abroad. As promised, I’m flipping it and writing on what to expect when you move abroad as an adult/young professional. With my move to the UK in 2015, I thought I knew it all since I’d moved to the US as a teenager. I was wrong. Moving abroad as an adult (at any point in time too) is life changing, terrifying, and exciting. Here are a few lessons from my personal experience:

 

Some May Think Your Life is A Grand Vacation, It Isn’t:

Living in Hong Kong doesn’t mean Dim Sum everyday, and a move to London does not translate to high tea and Buckingham palace everyday. You will have real life circumstances to deal with, and some of the seemingly simplest tasks will take time to accomplish because you’re learning and integrating into an entirely new system. It will be frustrating at times. There’s also the mental/emotional shift especially in the first few months. You may have ‘emotion swings’ on perfectly fine days. Many friends (and even family members) may simply not understand the challenges you face. Be transparent in sharing challenges but accept the fact that some people will never empathize with your challenges.

Take Your Time and Ask for Help:

This is personally my biggest lesson. I moved across the pond working up until two hours before I had to leave for the airport. Caught a flight that Sunday afternoon and was at work in Edinburgh on Monday. Furthermore, I got staffed on a project that had me working will 2am at times (including weekends) when I hadn’t found an apartment or opened a bank account. This made it particularly challenging to feel settled. If I could do one thing better, I’d set boundaries in taking even a few days off before the move, and ensure I made time (even if its just the weekends) to settle into my new space and build new bonds sooner than later.

You Get Out As Much As You Put Into It:

This is true here as with anything in life. Amazing things happen when we step out of our comfort zones. After having already taken a step out to move to another country, it would be unfortunate to fall into the trap of not being intentional about making the most of the opportunity. Get out of your home and meet people (especially those from places or backgrounds/experiences different from yours), take a dance class, join a sports team. Ask someone to coffee, or a movie, or a walk. Travel (of course), start a new hobby, read, get involved in community/church. You will likely feel some discomfort at times, you may be tempted to take the easy route by staying at home, or hanging out with the two people you know but I hope you push beyond that. There might be times you’ll wonder why you made the move, and if it’s worth it. Give it time, it will be worth it.

 

Not Everyone That Promised to Keep In Touch Will:

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but some friends will stay in touch and others won’t. That’s okay. Do pay attention to those that are intentional about staying connected especially over an extended period of time. Those are MVPS and you’ll be closer to those people. In reality, we only really need a few solid friends, not 100 lukewarm admirers. To be fair, chances are that you wont be in touch with every single person either because life happens but do your best and schedule time for those that matter! Be gracious and don’t take things too personal. Some friendships are seasonal have simply run their course.

 

Say Yes, But Also, Say No:

Saying yes will grow you in more ways than you thought possible. You’ll find out what you enjoy, and get clarity on what you don’t. Say yes to new experiences especially as you try to settle in and find your tribe/community. Say yes to opportunities at work that allow you to interact with others teams and professionals. However, say to no toxic relationships or those that simply do not grow you or enrich you in any way. Try many things but stand in your truth and say no to events that truly do not fit with who you are/who you’re becoming. Time is precious, be fiercely protective of who and what you give your time to.

 

You Will Not Be The Same:

As you dig your heels in, and expand your world view/skills/relationships, you will begin to evolve. Truth is, you may not even notice for a while, but when you take the time to look back it will finally dawn on you. You’ll likely be challenged to look at the world through different lenses and reassess things you thought to be true of the world and how it operates. You will make new friends that’ll make you see things differently, even better you’ll also meet people you don’t get along with that will challenge you and your reaction to things. You’ll appreciate your home country even more, and in some unexpected ways you might find yourself being an unofficial ambassador. You’ll have more places that you call ‘home.’ You’ll learn so much about yourself. I guess all I’m trying to say is that you will not be the same and that’s an amazing thing.

 

What else would you tell someone moving abroad to expect as an adult without a university community or family to rely on at the new location? What were the biggest challenge you faced when you moved? Please share your thoughts and additional tips in the comments section below! I’m being mindful of my transition and these tips as I start to settle back into life in the USA.

 

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Till next week,

Ms. Heels